Chinese Lessons

I’ve had about a month of Chinese lessons so far, and I’m tentatively calling it a success. There’s been no quantum leap in my Chinese ability yet – it’s early days – but I can feel some slow and steady progress is occurring. An interesting phenomenon I’ve experienced: I’m still having trouble understanding as usual ( 听不懂), but 5 minutes later, as if a background process in my brain had been quietly started and working away, I’ve suddenly realised what someone was trying to ask or tell me. “Oh, that’s what they wanted!” Hopefully, this 5 minute lag will eventually reduce down to the 500 milliseconds or so I need to have a normal conversation. Gotta start somewhere, it beats the complete timeouts I’ve had until now.

I started off with 1 or 1.5 hour lessons in the mornings when I hoped my brain was freshest. We chose a book to work through (Schaum’s Chinese Vocabulary, which I recommend) but the lessons pretty quickly became work – I got bored of conversations about airports, taxis and hotels, and I think the teacher got bored as well, especially when I was lax in doing my preparation. I also had to spend more time memorizing the book’s vocab and less on ChinesePod and other avenues of study. “Excuse me, which way is Beijing Avenue?” gets dull pretty quickly and I started to fall behind in the preparation. One vaguely racy lesson on underwear wasn’t enough to keep things interesting, so I sat down and had a think about how to keep things on track and make the lessons something to look forward to.

I made the following suggestions. First, use ChinesePod content in the lessons alongside the books. This was the most successful suggestion (see below). However, we also tried number quizzes so I could get used to counting and paying without having to pause to think and I suggested we try some TPR (Total Physical Response).

TPR is a really interesting method – it basically involves being bossed around with simple commands for a while. The theory says – and I have no reason to dispute it – that the brain forms firmer connections under the pressure of responding physically to an immediate command. “Stand up!” “Sit down!” “Give me the glass!”, once repeated a few dozen times, do become second nature without the need to explicitly parse the words in your head. The trick to this method, which of course is not suitable for imparting complicated grammar or advanced vocabulary (“Recite the impact of high unemployment on consumer spending!”), is to find someone who can actually confidently boss you around in a very repetitive way without feeling silly or bored. This is no mean feat and we haven’t had much success there yet. I’ll definitely never forget “站起来！” (stand up) though.

Oriental Pearl by night

Perhaps the best innovation was shifting some of the morning lessons to the evening and getting out and about in the city. My teacher is pretty good and keeping me on track and forcing me to discuss and describe the things I see. At the same time, we’re going for a walk, riding the bus and seeing the city. Makes a great change from sitting and reading or reciting. Not only does it make the lessons something to look forward too, I’m sure the brain benefits from the extra stimulation, and absorbs the new words along with all the new sights and experiences.

That’s probably why the ChinesePod has been so useful as well, as the content is very engaging. My teacher totally gets a kick out of lessons involving gangsters, pick-up artists and zombies. I’ve realized there’s an awful lot of value in making the teacher’s job more fun. For my part I enjoy doing the voices and roleplaying in Chinese – not as good as real roleplaying, but I’m absorbing all the vocab and patterns much better than before.

In the meantime I’ve been doing a lot more Internet chatting in Chinese which is helping. Once my literacy improves a bit, so I don’t have to resort to WenLin all the time, I must hunt down a QQ account.

Is a breakthrough in my ability coming? Only time will tell but I am yet to tire of this whole enterprise, so we’ll see!

The four types of foreign guy in China

A discussion with a Chinese friend (call her C) the other day turned to the subject of foreign guys and their experiences in China. It got interesting when she said that she has come to see foreign men falling into four categories, especially when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. I can’t have an opinion on the accuracy if this folk taxonomy, and of course any such scheme is bound to be an oversimplification. Neverthless I suspect there is some truth behind this. If so, one can draw a few conclusions about laowai and one or two about China as well.

Group One: Fresh off the boat

Group one guys know very little about China and Chinese people, but respect what they find as they would in their own country. They brought their mindset – and ethical system – with them.

Group Two: Dazed and Confused

Group two guys have learned something about China and have some experience with Chinese culture. As a result they feel confused and conflicted, and can become a little suspicious or cynical depending on their personality, education, and pre-existing morals. They don’t know how to deal with or communicate with Chinese people.

Group 3: The bounder

Group 3 guys know a lot about China and the Chinese. They have combined the selfishness of the Westerner with the lying of the Chinese and become very arrogant and cynical. They have bad reputations and damage the reputation of all foreigners. Many Westerners who have been living in China for a long time fall into this category. (C was not shy in expressing anger and contempt for this archetype.)

Group 4: Bigfoot with a big nose

These guys know China well, but have the intelligence and judgement to accept both the kindnesses and weaknesses of China. These are friendly, genuine and worldly people who respect their host country and its inhabitants. C believes they must exist somewhere, but they are an endangered species.

Lotus blossom from People’s Park

Remember, these aren’t my opinions. I can hardly have such a harsh view of foreigners here, nor of China, which in C’s view clearly has a corrupting influence on the Western men who dwell here. If the Mr Charisma effect  is real – that is, the inflation of a man’s attractiveness that occurs solely by the virtue of him being a foreigner – and it seems to be, it’s not hard to see that this could have a corrosive effect on any man’s ego and respect for the opposite sex. The fraught subject of inter-cultural relations causes an awful lot of hand-wringing on both sides, and is even the subject of books (and some unsavoury magazines). As a single man in China it’s not a subject I can pretend to ignore (especially as a confused Group 2).

Of course I countered with a few groups of Chinese women (a humorous analysis I will take with me to the grave for obvious reasons), but C responded with her  groups of Chinese Girls, another interesting list, and just as uncompromising as this one. I will share it at a later date if I can think of some way to do so without being lynched.

What do the foreign gals in China must make of all the fuss, I wonder?