The four types of foreign guy in China
A discussion with a Chinese friend (call her C) the other day turned to the subject of foreign guys and their experiences in China. It got interesting when she said that she has come to see foreign men falling into four categories, especially when it comes to relations with the opposite sex. I can’t have an opinion on the accuracy if this folk taxonomy, and of course any such scheme is bound to be an oversimplification. Neverthless I suspect there is some truth behind this. If so, one can draw a few conclusions about laowai and one or two about China as well.
Group One: Fresh off the boat
Group one guys know very little about China and Chinese people, but respect what they find as they would in their own country. They brought their mindset – and ethical system – with them.
Group Two: Dazed and Confused
Group two guys have learned something about China and have some experience with Chinese culture. As a result they feel confused and conflicted, and can become a little suspicious or cynical depending on their personality, education, and pre-existing morals. They don’t know how to deal with or communicate with Chinese people.
Group 3: The bounder
Group 3 guys know a lot about China and the Chinese. They have combined the selfishness of the Westerner with the lying of the Chinese and become very arrogant and cynical. They have bad reputations and damage the reputation of all foreigners. Many Westerners who have been living in China for a long time fall into this category. (C was not shy in expressing anger and contempt for this archetype.)
Group 4: Bigfoot with a big nose
These guys know China well, but have the intelligence and judgement to accept both the kindnesses and weaknesses of China. These are friendly, genuine and worldly people who respect their host country and its inhabitants. C believes they must exist somewhere, but they are an endangered species.
Lotus blossom from People’s Park
Remember, these aren’t my opinions. I can hardly have such a harsh view of foreigners here, nor of China, which in C’s view clearly has a corrupting influence on the Western men who dwell here. If the Mr Charisma effect is real – that is, the inflation of a man’s attractiveness that occurs solely by the virtue of him being a foreigner – and it seems to be, it’s not hard to see that this could have a corrosive effect on any man’s ego and respect for the opposite sex. The fraught subject of inter-cultural relations causes an awful lot of hand-wringing on both sides, and is even the subject of books (and some unsavoury magazines). As a single man in China it’s not a subject I can pretend to ignore (especially as a confused Group 2).
Of course I countered with a few groups of Chinese women (a humorous analysis I will take with me to the grave for obvious reasons), but C responded with her groups of Chinese Girls, another interesting list, and just as uncompromising as this one. I will share it at a later date if I can think of some way to do so without being lynched.
What do the foreign gals in China must make of all the fuss, I wonder?
It sounds exhausting for the first two groups: constantly trying to find a greater understanding based on what you know, without causing offense (inadvertently or otherwise!). I bet some days your brain is ready to explode.
The latter two groups have an easier time of it, on one hand thanks to blinkered ignorance and on the other thanks to deeper enlightenment.
I don’t suppose C had any tips on how to migrate from Group 2 to the elusive and elite Group 4?